Moments that will remain

We’re often asked what Dr Jenner might think of recent events. We’ll never know what Edward Jenner thought, of course, but we decided to try and track down a modern-day Dr Jenner. In this post to mark the 72nd birthday of the NHS, Dr Laura Jenner shares her experience of working on the frontline over the past three months.

When I qualified as doctor last summer, I could never have imagined what this year would bring. When COVID-19 reared its head in the UK I was three months into my time on the elderly care ward and due to move onto another job at the start of April. Coronavirus has suspended training for doctors up and down the country as we continued to work in areas that we are familiar with.

It is difficult to sum up my feelings from the pandemic but there are moments from the last three months that will remain with me forever. There were low points – caring for a young patient who had not only been diagnosed with coronavirus but also with acute leukaemia, and sadly the coronavirus prevented them from getting the chemotherapy they needed to fight the leukaemia. All deaths are challenging to deal with, but this one affected staff more than most; it brought together doctors and nurses, both newly qualified and seasoned veterans.

There were the effects of coronavirus that weren’t reported by the media. The phone calls to relatives to break the news that their loved one was dying but that they were not allowed in to hospital to hold their hand, or that only one member of the family could – how do you tell three children that they have to decide who will hold their mother or father’s hand as they die? Or telling a patient that they have a terminal diagnosis unrelated to coronavirus, but because of visiting restrictions they are unable to have someone with them while you tell them that they have incurable cancer. How do you express empathy and sympathy to the level that you want to whilst wearing a face mask and visor? How do you comfort a patient whilst keeping distance between you? Or caring for the elderly patient’s that have tested positive for COVID-19, but their dementia is stopping them from understanding the gravity of the situation. How do you explain to a dementia patient that they need to stay in a side room when all they want to do is interact with the other patients on the ward?

But then there were the high points. The feeling of seeing the nation show their appreciation for the NHS every Thursday night – some weeks it was all that got you through the shift. The gratefulness of patient’s relatives for the care provided whilst they were with us on the ward. The smile on a husband’s face as he was reunited with his wife, making the best of the bad situation of them both being admitted to hospital at the same time. The warm feeling that replaces the sadness of a patient’s death when you realise that you were able to ensure that they had a comfortable, dignified death.

Coronavirus has had a lasting effect on me, and whilst the first peak may have passed, there is no knowing whether it will return with a second peak. I have never been so grateful for the people I work with, providing emotional support in the hardest of times. Whilst the rest of the country was put on pause, we continued , and I have never been so proud to work for the NHS.